Tonight I am incredibly sad and feeling the loss of Mom-although it will be 4 years in January '07.
I thought I had got past the tears- but I was wrong!
I guess looking back through Chrismases past-when she was with us-when we were all together- has been a bad idea. I seem unable to overcome this sadness tonight.
During that December in 2002 I was busy as I always am in December...as we all are. We could not know how near her time was to leave us! She went in the hospital Dec 28th. and we had just a month left with her! That month I was with her for several hours every day in the hospital, holding her hand. All the family came then...
But-OH-
If I could have that Month back-that long past December- before she went in the hospital for that last time I would spend more time sitting with her-hearing her stories once again- hugging her a little tighter...
Mom was with my family every Christmas...so I guess it's to be expected that this season would hold a lot of sad feelings for me.
The photo here is from Christmas 1982 at our home in Miami, Fl.- Mom was almost 74 then- She was 94 when she left us!
This post is pointless but I just had to let some of the feelings out.
J.
Letting feelings out is a perfectly good point for making a blog post, Junie!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how you feel about wanting a little more time with your mom, as I often feel that way about my Gran.
Sending you hugs. xox
Skye,
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding.
Junie
Oh my dear Junie....your post is hardly pointless....for you OR your readers. There's never any way to tell how or when your life will be effected by the loss of someone you've loved all your life. Your mom was very obviously a major influence in your life. You loved her so much...and you miss her. People often feel the brunt of their loss during the holidays....it's the sentiment and emotion of the time. And, I don't think there's any time limit on it either. ((((((((((I'm sending you such big hugs Junie.)))))))) I've been thinking of my mom too, who died in June...some of the very same things you wrote about. Feel better dear friend... Love, Joy
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for understanding and caring!
Love,
Junie
(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI guess you've been told this before...but I think you look like your Mom!!
:-D
Hi Tam,
ReplyDeleteWell- thanks! That's a compliment! :)
Yes, I always thought I looked like my mom!
Junie
Dear June, there is no time limit for feeling sad about such a great loss, I don't believe it ever goes away, we just learn to hide it better. I also think you are very like your Mum.
ReplyDeleteHugs Margaret
Margaret,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your understanding and kind words.
I know this kind of loss is something we all have to go through and there's no way to control when it may return to overwhelm us.
( still- we WANT to remember the ones we've lost- even with the pain mixed in)
June
I'm catching up with all the posts I've missed in the last couple of days...oh Junie, I'm so sorry for your sadness but it's very understandable. Treasure all your memories of her and know that she really is around you in spirit and you will always be a part of each other. I have a rough day coming...I lost a baby on Dec. 20th and although it's been 27 years, I still find the day hard to get through. Much love xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Pea,
ReplyDeleteOh dear Pea, I'll be thinking of you on that day.
((Love and hugs))
Junie