A sad day...
(This is sad. Sorry, I needed to write this!)
I wish I could say today was a good day...a happy day... but there's no way I can say that.
Today we went to a funeral of a boy just turned 18. (9 days before his death)
This was a boy we barely knew, but his young age and circumstances of his death has touched me more than I would have thought possible. We drove the 100 miles to where he was buried-to add what comfort we could to the grieving family.
He had recently come (with his brothers) seeking to do yard work or other odd jobs, for my husband. Charles gave him and his brothers a few days work around our place.
During the course of working with him, my husband learned that he was not very happy in his home life...a high school dropout- without a job, living with his mother and step father, a brother, a step brother and half sister. None in the family were employed; according to what was told to my husband. This boy was pressured to get out and find work... and he had tried.
Not easy for a boy without an education or training- or even a driver's license or a car.
We got word from his brothers that he had died (a few days ago) apparently by his own doing! His 13-year-old half brother found him hanging from a tree in the back yard. The stepfather has convinced himself it was accidental. Perhaps it was-and maybe that's an easier thing to accept, for this family.
It was heartbreaking to see the grieving family...the mother!
...with the grief we felt, there was a tinge of anger too...for Charles and me! The boy, obviously, was so troubled...so much so he reached out to a stranger (my husband) and confided his problems. Charles encouraged him to try harder to get along with the family- to apologize to his mother for a recent fight between them. He did that.
If only people could work together and try to solve problems-as families- before such tragedies happen!
Charles regrets not having done more to help him...but how was he to know!! And what could he have done?
The pictures of the boy they had on display were a stab in the heart!
No boy should die at 18!
Junie
Labels: sad
posted by JunieRose2005 @ 8:23 PM
11 Comments
11 Comments:
I'm so sorry to hear this Junie. Kids don't always see that things CAN get better, or that there IS help out there for them, or just what those avenues of help are. They just see a dead end of hopelessness facing them, and sometimes it ends just like it ended for this troubled kid. It's heartbreaking; and certainly to us....it's senseless. I know you'll shed many tears for this kid; and we all will for every kid who feels the same way. I'm so sorry.
Thanks,Joy,
It's just very sad... I keep thinking how he must have suffered to get to that place...
Wow, that's so sad, Junie. I'm really sorry to hear about that.
How horrible Miz June!!
Please don't blame yourselves thought...noone could know and Charles did the best he could I'm sure!
((hugs))
I weep for him and for every child who can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
There are far too many.
Dear June, What a tragedy this was. The loss of a young life. Charles was kind to help him out and the fact that he confided in Charles, he was grateful to him and that must have helped. But his problems were too big for him to cope with. A very sad story. Take care, you two, you did what you could. Love, Merle.
Merle
Tammy
Skye
Ann,
Thanks for your messages.
This is one thing that helps all of us... this reaching out to each other and feeling for each other..
Love,
Junie
Oh Junie, that IS sad! I hope the young man is in a happier place now. Depression & loss of hope is a terrible thing! I myself have been there, & even had those thoughts, but never acted on them. Joy is right- when your young, you see a lifetime ahead of the same thing your going thru at the time, not the betterment or a way to make your life better. I had a bad childhood w/my mother. At age 46, and her now 76, she's still vindictive towards me & my brothers just for having existed, & it still depresses me. We've tried so hard to work things out w/her over the years, but it never gets any better. She blames us for having come along & ruined her plans in life (her words). I know some of what that boy may have felt. I just wish he'd found the courage to go on, get out & make his life a better & happy one. God bless him!
Carolyn,
Yes, it was very sad, and like you, I hope he's in a better place. I believe he is.
Charles said the very things you and Joy did - that if he could have gotten through just a little more time-a few more years- he would have realized there's always ways of making things better.
Carolyn, I too, have gone through a lot of depression in my life- sometimes you reach a point where you can see no way out!...When I reach those places I remind myself that things WILL get better.
I'm sorry you are still in an uhappy relationship with your mother...but you have been able to find happiness in spite of all that!
(Hugs to you)
Junie
Junie,
I lost a son in a similar way. There is no heartbreak as great or nothing harder for a parent to go through.
My heart goes out to all in the family and to you and your husband.
No one knows what goes on in a young person's mind that forces them to take their own life. Someday that question may be answered but meanwhile those of us who are left behind lead shattered lives often filled with guilt.
Please tell your husband he did what was right and that there really was nothing else he could have done.
Oh, Maria,
I had no idea you had gone through such a heartbreaking thing. I am so sorry. I'm sure it's something one would never get over!
This situation was very sad and hurtful for us but it wasn't someone we knew well. It hurt to see the mother, especially-
Charles is such a caring person, especially for young kids in need.
Sometimes there's no way to help,
...still, I guess all we can do is keep trying to help folks along the way, whenever or however we can.
Junie
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